Steak Pit is said to be one of the few good restaurants in Snowbird area. After a chain of disappointments in the Sushi bar, Mexican Grill and Pasta place, we figured steak house was a safe bet in the West. It was tolerable except the service was too fast without a proper break between each course. The concept of medium rare was quite a big gap from East Coast. All of us had to send it back after a first cut in to the fillet mignon. 

Without a doubt in mind, I ordered a glass of house Australian Shiraz. The waiter said they didn’t have it which seemed odd. Shiraz and Cabernet are the two stronger red wines that go well with steak and Australia is known for good Shiraz. I asked for a wine list to pick out a substitute and found Australian Shiraz was the first on the list. I requested it again with delight. The waiter apologized for his oversight. 

Half way through the meal, some local celebrity came by to say hello. He is the son of Dick Bass who is the pioneer and owner of Snowbird ski resort. The chat was always about snows and the mountain and how we all have skied on the Dick Bass trail so and so on. After he left, we went back to the topics of adventure into Africa and South America, wine in Napa and Bordeaux, concerts of Bruce Springsteen and Led Zeppelin. 

Suddenly, I saw something brownish moving on the snow outside of the glass door. It was the size of two footballs with many needles spiking out. I registered the image with my poor vocabulary of animals and announced, “Look, it is porcupine.” All city slickers stopped all motions and cramped in front of the door. The waiter took a load of bread, opened a crack of the door and threw the bread to the porcupine. “Larry comes here every night in winter.”

We were obsessed with Larry. Instead of eating our steaks, we watched Larry eat the bread. Larry was very picky and ate only the soft part of the bread leaving the crust untouched. 

I casually commented, “I usually like the crust better.”

Everyone laughed, “You two will make good friends then.”

“He looks so huggable but of course no one wants to get near him.” Someone else observed and we agreed Larry was as oxymoron as an animal can get. 

“I wonder if I can get one as a pet.” I said to myself.

Marie gave me a shovel in the elbow, “What is wrong with you? You want nothing but strange pets, camel, penguin, now porcupine.” 

I couldn’t help thinking I am eccentric as well but after all, walking a camel, a penguin and a porcupine in Central Park is a thought quite irresistible.   

Based on the waiter and the driver who took us back to the lodge later, Larry is as famous as Dick Bass in the area if not more. He had a girlfriend last year but dumped her quickly because she usually took away a big chunk of his food. Survival first, sentiment comes second. I don’t blame him.

“He is just like any man, selfish and uncaring” Robin took it quite personal.

“Yet, we can’t live without them, man or Larry” I spoke the truth as always. Robin signed and nodded reluctantly.  

Men are also lovable but dangerous, just like Larry, I thought to myself. The key is to love them as much without getting hurt. Keep a distance from him, give him enough space to maneuver, do not depend on him to survive, share most interests but always explore on your own. Love is a game with a set of rules and terms, the winner is the one who masters them, obeys them and with a bit of luck and brain, revise them sometimes.

The car stopped in the driveway of a shabby two storied house in an average looking neighborhood. A woman came out with a little cart full of mysterious household tools. I gasped. She is white! In her mid forties, with long hoarse dirty blond hair, weathered and wrinkled face that shows the hardship of life, an outfit not worth detail description, a smile reluctant, she greeted me with an accent that I am not familiar with – of a native speaker with limited education and no sophistication. The image of the Mexican nanny in “Babel” vanished, what popped up in front of me instead were women on Jerry Springer show and the mom from the movie “8 miles”. 

I concealed my setback with a polite handshake and a warm smile but I could see her shock from her dull eyes. She probably would never imagine the popular daughter in-law of Mr. and Mrs. S to be an Asian. Mom sensed my surprise and later told me that Donna is a local from a poor family, not very bright herself in life and continued to live an unfruitful life. “There are many Americans live the same way she does. You are distant from it because people around you are usually shrewd and capable.”

I don’t personally know any but from time to time I hear some use a lowly word to describe this type - “white trash”, an expression that often makes me uncomfortable. No matter how low and how unintelligent they are, no human beings should be addressed as trash. Trash means something to be disposed, to be thrown out, like what Nazi did to people in the concentration camps.

There are various political groups fighting and lobbying for interests for blacks, Asians, gays etc.  Blacks demand compensations from slavery trades hundred years ago though no one dares to pinpoint that those slaves were slaves in Africa to start with and was sold by traders of their own tribe. Asians are still not classified as minority to enjoy various benefits but they usually have their own communities to fall back on. Gays are economically superior since they don’t have a family to support. Poor whites in depressed Midwest area such as Detroit are often forgotten. Since automobile companies embraced globalization to rip more profit from the cheaper labors in third world countries, they are left alone to struggle with life. Eminent’s angry raps shocked the nation for a short period but did not bring much helps. Uneducated and unsophisticated, they don’t know how to play the game of politics and manipulate the system to their benefits.

Couple of hours later, Donna took off to go to the next door neighbor. I handed her the Christmas gifts mom prepared for her children and a generous year end gratuities. She thanked me and mumbled something inaudible.  Looking at the hunch figure disappearing into the corner, the grey sky cast a shadow on my once lighthearted and cheerful spirit.

When the bus stopped in a store near city center, we were all puzzled until we looked out and found a big liquor shop to the right of the bus. Everyone laughed, without a word, got off the bus orderly and marched into the spirit place. A local stared at us and was curious who we were, where we were from. Someone murmured to satisfy his curiosity, “a ski club from NYC.” The local commented jokingly, “oh, a ski club with drinking problems.” “No, it is rather a drinking club with skiing problems.” One of us shot back a wise guy remark, which triggered knowingly laughter in the group. 

Yes it is a drinking club, with at least one happy hour outing every month and right we all have skiing problems, each person signs up for one to six of week long trips out west or Europe each season. There are lots of other problems in this group: some had already booked to join the die hard ski camp; some was on the phone booking massage and manicure/pedicure; some were enlisting Hold’em players; some were trying to find a sports bar to catch the Giants game…

Like what was noted in Ken Burns’ Jazz documentary: Blue music was sung by Southern laborers to express their problems in life – loss of love, death, disappointment, sadness, we don’t conceal our personal frauds or vices either. By singing/admitting them rather than tabooing them as most cultures do, it lessens the darkness and the fear.

而他们的谈吐用词也似来自同所学堂：逢女的必大呼美女，见男的必尊称帅哥，丝毫不怕玷辱先古西施潘安之流；互相介绍才完毕便誉对方为性情中人，全然不顾梁山泊好汉们着恼；半顿饭工夫后主题直奔自我，且是真实的自我。

套宝二爷的说法，美女帅哥性情中人真实的自我之类通通都是“混帐话”。谁说过这些混账话， 我也早和他生分了。 别的也罢了，最最不能忍受的是“真实的自我”，天下头等大大不通的混帐话。我就是我，何来自我？不是自我难道是你我，他我？而我不是真实的，活生生的，不成我是充气娃娃，芭比玩偶？

当然哲学家思想家们会申辨这指的是灵魂非肉身。 自我通常相对于群体，真实有别于带面具做人。 有理有理，岂有此理！个性鲜明的人在再拥挤的人潮中也不会被淹没，而言语乏味者纵是天孤地独时也不见得找得着自己的灵魂。自我一词纯属画蛇添足。

至于挂面俱做人，是再自然不过的事。 动物中尚有变色龙一类，观言察色，随机应变是上天赋于人的独特天分，不妨善以利用，充分发挥，自娱娱人。“见人说人话，见鬼说鬼话”的能耐体现的是一个人的分析力，自控力，生存力。相信没有人会对着农夫大谈 Degas, 农夫或许比哲学家更有慧根，只是他的智慧不以哲学形式表达。而夜深人静时长生殿前的呢喃语切忌播放给无关人等，扼杀了浪漫又吓坏听众。

对再亲密的人，也不必剖心掏肺，一颗心真也好，红也好，还是严严实实地裹在肉身里稳当。 当透明人一来有碍观瞻，二来一目了然，让人胃口全无。 假如宝玉黛玉都迫不急待的表白自己，而不是扑朔迷离互猜心事，红楼梦有何看头？当宝玉终于说了一番真心话时，却被袭人误听了去，显然曹雪芹巧笔安排，两人间的情愫还是隔一层碧纱窗地好。

再者，今日的我，有别于昨日，明日希望会更完善。 一个人一生中千变万化，每个都是我，每个都不是我，肯定了某些，否定了某些。我重要，没有我，万物存在却等于不存在，所以我快乐地活着，为鸟语花香雀跃。我不重要，没有我，太阳照常升起，宇宙依旧辽阔，所以我无须执着于我。

所以的所以，口口声声要做真实的自我的同学们，饶我吧！

Most fall in love with skiing for the feeling of being free: free of speed, one can go as fast as 60 miles; free of constrains, cliffs, trees, bums don’t stop you; free of compatibility as team sports do, whether your partner is good or lousy don’t affect your own performance; free of judgments, nobody’s opinion counts as long as you enjoy yourself; free of competition, you can fly down one run yet jazz down the other.

But on the other hand, it can be very sociable. Being used to chatting with random strangers sitting next to you on a ten minute lift ride, one learns to make friends easily. Within the five minutes waiting on the line to check into to the ski lodge, I got an invitation to another group’s party after I showed my interest in the Red Skins game that afternoon. A girl from DC asked me to hangout with them after admiring my ski jacket for a few minutes. So loners sometimes become friends and we find harmony in each other and in the sport.

Recalling one friend’s comment on my not eager to have children, “most people have kids because they get bored. You make friends anywhere anytime. You don’t need children to fulfill your life.”, I am afraid to say that she is quite accurate although whenever I see a happy face of a skiing five year old, my heart melts. I know I do want children, to teach them ski, to show them how to enjoy being a loner yet make friends in every part of world.

Most uses this site to establish a personal relationship that will hopefully lead to the tying of the knot; some to seek excitement to escape the daily boredom; some to exchange ideas and share joys; some to connect with friends worldwide and keep them posted…. All in all, we are here because we long for something beautiful, something good that sometimes get interrupted by the tediousness of life. A war revealing the ugliness of humanity will only turn many away. I hope whoever runs jiaoyou8 but is not doing anything to mend the damage will take this into consideration. You don’t need a Harvard MBA to understand this.

I beg you’ll, I urge you’ll, to stop the finger pointing, the stabbing, the snips, the sarcasm and the nastiness. It is not the right way to end a year let along a good start for a new one.

Say something meaningful if you love to write, be it poems or essays; smile all you can if you please; ask for helps if you are in trouble; but remember certain distance keeps the beauty in any relationships.

Peace, you’ll. Let’s withdraw from Iraq. Let’s cease fire on Jiaoyou8. Be happy and make others happy – this should be the basic part of everyone’s New Year resolution.

Salut, tout le monde! 

Though no one can deny how intelligent Hilary is and the rich political experience she possesses, she is too opportunistic with no integrity and principle. She swings between pro-war and anti-war positions depending which will benefit her personal ambition. A majority of women will no doubt vote for Hilary deeming this election as a war between the two genders, which is understandable but totally pathetic. The election is about who is best to lead us out of the slump, regardless race or gender. 

After eight years of Bush idiocy, before the subprime lending problems blows up further, in the middle of the mess in Iraq, at the hill of the weak dollar, Obama seems to be the choice for anyone who is tired of the current governing party. Being black with a strong international background, he will gain support from people who yearn for a change in the dynamic.

John Edward is the most left candidate. The fact that he admitted his voting in the senate for the Iraq was wrong attracts the hardcore anti-war voters. Besides that, he will be the handsomest president if he gets elected, beating JFK. I can’t believe women would vote for Hilary over John Edward or Obama. What type of women are those?:-) Thank god the survey after the caucuses shows that younger women are not voting for Hilary.  

Obama and Edward should consolidate their votes to enable one of them to be the strongest among all.

As for GOP, I can’t bear another mention of 911 by Guianni. The event was a disaster for NYC, the nation and the world but a jackpot for Rudi. He has since then lived off it and over used the goodwill he built. His campaign as a crisis handler does not sell either. If a country is being run intelligently and responsibly, things should be under control and there shouldn’t be many crises to be handled. As Lao Zi would say, the best way to govern is to no govern at all. 

Miss Donna comes to clean mom and dad’s house once a week. With no husband, two children under age ten, she shares a place with her sister’s family, makes her wages by keeping houses for the richer families on the Chesapeake Bay. One would think that living in suburban without owing a car is impossible but she manages. She would put her cleaning tools in a toddler’s cart, drag her two youngsters and walk along the highway for forty minutes each way to work. 

Mom has complained many times that Donna’s work is hardly satisfying and the mess created by her kids gives her headaches. Yet mom’s conscience doesn’t allow her to dismiss Donna knowing how much she needs this job. Furthermore, mom’s conscience pushes her to pick up and drop off Miss Donna on the appointed date of housekeeping. Though I often make fun of mom by saying “what?! You are chauffeuring the cleaning lady.” which never fails to amuse dad, I can’t blame her for getting herself into this horrible situation. I would probably do the same if not more. 

“I am leaving to pick up Donna. Would you like to go for a ride?” Mom asked.

“That would be lovely. I need some fresh air.” I put down the book, threw on the red cashmere coat and slipped into the cream Farragamo loafers.  

With jolly Christmas music flowing from the car stereos, the chatter was again about Miss Donna. “She works so hard, earns little but buys expensive video games for the kids.” Mom said with a tone mixed with sympathy and pity. I suddenly got nervous about meeting Miss Donna. What should I say to make her feel better? What can I do to entertain her kids so they won’t go wild in the house? Would they laugh at my broken Spanish?

TBC